Military Spouse Dependent Identification Card & Divorce
Confiscating the Military Spouse ID Card in a Divorce
Sometimes as emotions rise in a pending military divorce, a service member might threaten to confiscate, destroy, revoke, or fail to renew the military spouse DEERS ID card.
Some service members think because they sign as the sponsor on the DD Form 1172 Application for Uniformed Services Identification Card DEERS Enrollment, this means they have the right to take the ID card away in order to suspend benefits.
This is not true.
The U.S. government DOD Directive 1000.22 provides the rules for issuing the military spouse dependent ID card providing benefits such as commissary, military exchange, healthcare, etc. Should a service member refuse to sign the DD 1172 form, the personnel office can indicate so on the form and issue the ID card anyway.
Military Spouse Benefits while Separated
The military spouse retains the DEERS ID card and all benefits while divorce is pending. Because of this, couples might consider delaying or even choose not to divorce.
Consider a military divorce legal separation in Colorado:
If the couple obtains a decree of legal separation (which Colorado offers), that time of legal separation counts as marriage for purposes of these rules. So if the former spouse is close to achieving 20/20/20 or 20/20/15 status, it may be worth having a period of legal separation before the dissolution itself. Consult with a family law attorney, knowledgeable in military issues, for specific advice about your situation.
Eligibility is under the former spouse’s own SSN, not the servicemember’s SSN, so the former spouse should contact DEERS to advise of the dissolution, and arrange for the change in “sponsor.” See source
Military Divorce Tips discusses reasons to either delay or avoid a divorce and the requirements of the 20/20/20 and 20/20/15 rules concerning ID cards.
Who Can Confiscate Your Military Spouse ID Card?
While the service member cannot confiscate a spouse’s DEERS card, that does not mean that it can never be revoked.
Here are some examples where a military spouse ID card might be taken away:
- By Court order upon a finalized divorce
- It is expired: Submit an expired ID upon entering a base or for a medical visit and you run the risk of it being confiscated. Submit the DD 1172 for renewal in a timely manner.
- Condition: For example, if the lamination is peeling apart
Military Spouses should remember:
You do not have to surrender your ID just because you are served with divorce papers.
Help for Military Dependents
You might be interested in these books on being a military dependent:
I am a 20/20/20 Former Military Spouse that has been unsuccessful in 4 years post divorce in being transitioned and designated Former Military Spouse and my own sponsor. I am looking for information on how other former military spouses accomplished receiving their designation. I have contacted the navy project office, navy career center, the former military spouse coordinator, Charlaya McGhee, DEERS, the military member, researched through military one source, militar.com, and this site. I need the process completed and any help is greatly appreciated.
Military ID cards are considered government property and sponsors have a responsibility to retrieve and return dependent ID cards when the dependent is no longer eligible.
Continued use or possession by an unauthorized dependent is a federal criminal offense.
Hi am kalyani, my husband already divorced a girl a two year ago. Am just married 5 months ago.. Still he did not changed her ex wife name in dependent card. He refyse to change my name .. Please i need an advice to be above concerned mater. What are all the procedure to changed his ex wife name name..
I’m a military wife and I’ve been separated from my husband over 20yrs. I’ve tried several times over the years to get a copy of divorce documents that he said he filled, but no luck on my part even with a attorney. I’ve contacted the Houston office for divorce record and they only shows our marriage certificate and tells me I’m still married.
So, I want to know if I’m still married how to get military benefits and claim all I can?
Hi Vicki,
I was very excited to come across your comment here. My name is, Kristina and I am finishing my Master’s degree capstone at Harvard University. My project pertains to EXACTLY what you’ve described here: former military spouses being denied access (to a myriad of things, including documents). I am seeking change for us. I am a Marine wife of 23 years and was a Family Readiness Officer in Marine units for 6 years during the war. After retirement, my husband disappeared (by his own choice) leaving me to my own devices, no ID card, no access, nothing. Hence, my capstone topic. I am building a coalition of former spouses who have experienced situations similar to yours and mine. Would you be interested in connecting?
I am divorced from a retired serviceman. We have minor children together. I did not meet the 20/20/20 rule. Is there a “shopper’s card” that I can still use for access to the commissary and PX because I have minors?
I shared your question on our Facebook page, so you could get the most exposure and answers: https://www.facebook.com/Military.Divorce/posts/2171040389660299?__xts__%5B0%5D=68.ARAk1HIiMbpWhxuzyb_-49vv51hs-YTjLHdqi7wU2wjChWmHjgHhwVqP4VE0PLaWjWh9Qv5QeSUqk5vgoZgs5QyfzrccWxqkhUygivib3zUr2h3ojX-rJzUfGdBHV3itEsVS1yd3SBmOzZDWjNDeYhqF4sOKSF45rzZjCB7wjnsQiL8ZKV_P2CRYXLtZwtkzH4p_2pdXEEpgc5TITy645fIeEdNyppxCcIOl98V9bya2ByXmmy4b1lDb_NqCAL0PKwIPROM2tR6NLrXV57sfs–xnqq0oDJVdrMDlhdG5rKjFNmutOjtNb01rqv8YUmefuZtbYwZonfzZ_N35plUdA&__tn__=-R
I am a 22yr retired officer. I married my current wife after my military retirement and after 19yrs of marriage we are divorced. I was told she is not eligible for Tricare and I need to know what I need to do to cancel her ID card and medical benefits.
My spouse and I are separated. She needs a new ID as her’s is expired. We are a thousand miles apart. How do I get her ID renewed without traveling?
Pass and ID took away my wife’s ID when she went to them for advice, and showed them the final divorce decree.
She is fully qualed under the 20/20 rule.
Now she has no ID and wants me to send her a copy of my DD form 214 to prove I was in the service during our marriage…
Was it right to her to leave her without benifits and now no ID?
What can she do now for medical, Exchange and commissary without her ID card.?
Can I get some advise about my spouse telling me I can’t get a new military ID? We are separated. I looked this up and read that he can’t do that. Some help would be greatly appreciated. I’m frazzeled need help.
Separated is not divorced. You will retain your is card while separated. Period. No discussion
I’m hoping someone can help me. I live separate from my husband. He say I’m not getting a new military ID because we are separated. Can someone offer me some advice? I quit my job in another state in 2012 to move over to where I am. From what I have looked up he can’t keep from renewing the ID. Any advise would would be appreciated.
Practical writing ! For what it’s worth , others are looking for a DD 1172 , my company found a sample version here
[link removed]Thanks for the tip, but since your link goes to a 2005 version of the form, we suggest everyone use our link above – located in the second paragraph – which is for a 2014 version. (I’ll edit your comment to take the link out, but if you find a later version, please let us know. We appreciate that.)
After 20plus years,I finally got my divorce case open,got the judge to award a percentage of my ex’s military retired pay,one half,dfas knocked it down to 45%.did qualify for 20/20/15,it should have been 20/20/20.was told I should have filed for this One year after my divorce(1994),yes,1994.July 15,2015 my case was closed..question,if I’m receiving part of his retired pay,shouldn’t I be reconsidered for an id card?married in 73,ex retired in 93,divorce in 94.or was it?since the old case was reopened in 2014,decided on in 2015?former spouses don’t give up!my ex and his attorney thought they pulled a fast one,they did but,I pulled a faster one.
As a true 20/20/20 ex spouse, can someone tell me how long it takes to get the paperwork back from Millington TN so I can get my ID card back along with my medical benefits? I have been in declining health for many years and truly need my TriCare reinstated. Thank You.
I don’t think you’ll get an answer on this here unless by chance someone has applied recently. Maybe you can find a phone number for the address you sent it to?
I’m new to the site,just made a post about a 20plus year fight.After being given the complete run around by all agencies,I’d had enough.emails was sent to 1600Pennsylvania ave,guess what all my questions were answered by The Director out of Kentucky,and The Director out of DC’S DOD.Mr.Edward,and the”Others”changed their tune when they saw I wasn’t going away Quietly.every person I talked to,or should I say emailed,I included their Names to all of the directors,and the president.no lawyer,I did all of this on my own with a cell phone,I won my case without a lawyer.didn’t have the money for one.send an email to the president with you information,believe me,the appropriate agency Wii Get In Touch With You.being in the sad state of Mississippi,with Kessler AFB only Three Miles From My House,no help.the politicians of this state all of them refused to even try,yet they wanted my vote.Really!somewhere amongst my papers I have the answer to your question,keep watching,I’ll post the name of the directors you can email for your answer.
It seems that a lot of embittered husbands are on this site, how about a little compassion? You don’t know the circumstances of these women so why lash out when they are just asking for help? Military id isn’t given by the military spouse but by the government and as a military member that person should be following any and all rules set down regardless of whether he hates the ex or not…..that is just the grown up thing to do! I know bad wives and I also know bad husbands and I am sure if you bashers are honest then you will admit to knowing some too. People thing the military matures you but it is obvious from the previous rants that this isn’t true for everybody. Stop being a troll, grow up, and learn about compassion and kindness without judgement. Semper Fi
Thanks for sharing your kind comments. Much appreciated!
Well just to reply. The the military wife whose current husband is a complete loser. He married me just for the benefits. He pretended to be so in love and turned into the troll after my deployment. He uses his dependant lying and saying he serves. He doesn’t want me but what that golden ticket can do for him. That is the only reason he won’t file for divorce. So as I gtaduate I will and submit a court order for revokation. I get so tired of people singling out military husbands as if it doesn’t exist. All women in the military aren’t gay.
My husband and I have been separated for 1 year now. He is officially retired on Aug1 1, therefore my children and I need to renew our military ID. My husband is willing to sign the form for our kids to renew their ID but he claimed that I’m no longer his spouse. Therefore I am not entitled to the military benefits such as commissary. He said he doesn’t want to be responsible for me misusing the ID which I have no idea how I would misuse it. I have not been served any divorce paper yet. I spoke to some other military families and they said that my husband is entitled to refused to sign the form therefore I won’t have an ID. Is there a rule or regulations that I can use just in case the DEERS office to won’t allow me to renew? My card is about to expired July 31.
My hopefully-soon-to-be ex-husband filed for divorce in January this year (I could incur the expenses of filing at the time) after he moved out. I was eventually served and after sitting down with a military lawyer we drafted a response and submitted it with the courts. The petition for divorce was and still is uncontested, however since July (when all of the initial papers were signed and submitted) I have yet to have the divorce finalized. We don’t have kids together, no assets to contest and yet no divorce. This all happened in the state of Hawaii and we have since left the state. He moved back to his home state of Washington and I don’t know if he is still active duty or not (he got into trouble while in Hawaii with a DUI and rumors were he was going to get kicked out, but since leaving the island on an early return of dependent that was hell to get even though I had been officially declared by Family Advocacy and other Social Workers as a victim of domestic violence/abuse, still I was told by neighbors and acquaintances in the company that he was going to stay). In any case, I have since worked my hardest to turn that page. I’ve gone back to school, work, not really made new friends but I’m trying. I want nothing more to be divorced from him and I check the website daily (I put in the case number and it tells me at what stage it is — it has been at the last stage for months which is not typical of uncontested divorces in the state of Hawaii) and I call the court to speak to someone every other week and I’m told the same thing—last stage. But if I am still legally married to him then I would like to still get whatever benefits (in particular health benefits) that come with it, but my military ID has expired for two weeks now and I don’t know if there is anything I can do without him in order to renew it, if he is still in the military and how to find out, or who to contact.
Completely in the dark as I had been in the months following the separation; the Command was no help whatsoever. For someone who had abused his spouse and gotten arrested by Military Police, they sure went out of their way to protect him.
Exactly what is the Command supposed to do for you? They are there to ensure the service member provide a certain financial assistance based off their grade while still married. In some cases the commander may impose a military protective order. That’s about it. They are not there to make sure your spouse suffers as much as possible.
One of my Soldiers is currently going thru a divorce with a spouse he caught cheating on him. This woman constantly calls the command demanding we make him pay more money. Never works out for her though. Dependapottamus.
Are there ways to keep your ID card after a divorce, we have been legally separated for 14 years but lived together 12 of the 14. We had We were married 15 of the 20 years and I need the medical benefits. I get half of the retirement, but I would like to file but keep my ID card.
How about you join the military yourself and earn your own ID and retirement instead of sucking off of your poor husband who earned the benefits.
Yes they can. My ex said he would and he did and he knew how to do paper work to fix things and I am still fighting to get it back I 60 with not health care because my job dont give health care.
I can’t know your situation for sure, but from your other comments on this website, it sounded like you do not meet the 20/20/20 rule and that would be a reason military spouses would have to surrender their ID card (after divorce). During the divorce process and during separation, the spouse has the right to keep the dependent ID card.
Again greedy lawyers dragging a divorce out as long as they can to enhence there pay and pick the pockets of the miltary member and or vet. This is excactly what happened to my neighbor a (female). She came back after an being maimed by a bomb and ended up giving 50% of her retainer pay to a husband that emptyed the savings, checking and maxed out cc. And had a baby with anther women. His lawyer dragged it out two years.
Another trick of the trade to prolong the divorce action to recieve benefits.
Lawyers are paid by their clients, so it is not the lawyers who choose to drag things out. Some service members actually do want their spouses to qualify for benefits. Reasons to delay divorce are discussed in Military Divorce Tips.
Let’s stay on topic: The topic above is not delaying divorce, but whether a service member can take away the military spouse ID card.